I've landed in the middle of the most amazing pod. I'm sitting watching my roomie host a weekly D&D style game. And he's killing it! Amazing at it. And all the players are on point. I want to leave, but I need to know how this story ends.
My roomie. I haven't profiled him here yet, but he's a great guy. What amazing luck, getting set up with an actor who's a good human. He's Irish, living here in Van (and Can) for a while. He's apparently a really good actor, being nominated many times for many awards. He helped me run lines the other day for a big audition, and followed up to see how it went. But this...THIS. He is in his element. His name is Ashley.
Today. Big audition. Had a great time. So many small victories over time. No nerves in the room. Not none, but comparatively the nerves are the good kind. It matters, so it's heightened. But between the work I do on my own, and the work I get to do with Jake - which I can't say enough about, but will try later on in this post - I'm able to put myself in a position where I actually walk in and am able to just, play. Just be. It's a really big deal.
Yesterday was hard. Perhaps the loneliest day I've had. Because yesterday, I needed help. Or at least, I thought I did. But no one was around. It was weird. Everyone I reached out to had something going on. Completely understandable, but also surprising when you make that many calls, texts, and fb's. But the truth is that it was good to be alone. I was left to my own devices and forced to believe in myself. I find that hard. Believing in myself. Who's with me? Seriously, it can be hard. We all have expertise. We have hours, and hours, that we've put into becoming proficient at something. Yet, to have someone else validate it is somehow worth more, than doing it yourself. It's about trust. Trust that you've done the work, and that the work will solve the problem. The work will get you where you need to go. The work is enough. Because you are enough.
I got pretty far. But I was having a hard time with something for my audition. In comes Jake. I've prided myself on working to be the best, always. I'm not, but it's not for a lack of trying. But Jake, is a wizard right now to me. He was able to make sense of the issue that I was having and help me'crack the code' of my woes in record time, thus allowing me to walk into the audition, and build the table. But in all honesty, without the coaching we did, it would have been flat. And that was good for me to learn. Which screws are missing when I build tables.
Lastly, today I jogged up to Queen Elizabeth Park. I see now what people like about Vancouver, topographically. That lookout was enough to make me stop jogging. That and the pain in my chest and legs - which means I need to run more! I didn't take a picture because sometimes you just need to enjoy the moment. Like in the Secret Life of Walter Mitty. That was a great film!