Antonio Cayonne | Actor

Powerless - Wed. April. 15th.

Antonio CayonneComment

I had a great talk today with one of my newer friends. A great friend. A kindred spirit. He's writing a show, and it actually might take off, because it's great. Because he's hungry. Because he believes in the show, even when it's difficult to believe in himself. He faces his fear and keeps busy doing so, so that he never has to wonder what would happen if the fear consumed him. Even though we both know.  In talking - and we talked, about everything and anything for quite some time - he shared something that was really helpful today. A reminder. He told me, from his point of view, what it looked like when I moved out here. I've been here for 2 months and some days now, and to be honest my emotional landscape is as unpredictable as the bus schedule here; my focus and determination fluctuates like the weather - though I have more sun than rain, unlike a provice I know. But from his side, her remembers the resoluteness of it. He can play back the strength it took, the bravery, the belief, and point to those as reasons to know that it's already a good place for me to be. This is a slow week. These are the hard ones. I've taken this time to dial back in to certain projects I've let fall by the wayside: fitness and artistry. It's easy to feel powerless, as my friend writes about, but sometimes you have more power than you think. I felt powerful today in taking control of my day. I felt sure of where I was guiding my energy. And I didn't let anything interrupt my happiness. Today was a good day. 

When I got out here, one of my boys texted me. 

'Stay focused and don't stop'.

Noted. Thank you. A reminder I will come back to, no doubt.