Antonio Cayonne | Actor

Up in smoke - Monday April 20 21015

Antonio CayonneComment

420 in Vancouver. There was a time that I cared. I wonder if I would still care if I partook. I don't think so but who am I to say. Apparently there was a lively cloud if smoke over the city. Strange the things people come together for around here. Around anywhere. 

I've been doing fairly well stocking to my workouts and eating schedule. Can only get better, but whoa, the amount of planning is seeeeeeriious! Muscles really are made in the kitchen....COOKING!

I had two nice chats yesterday. One with Ben, a good high school friends who lives in California somewhere. Love talking to that guy - even on Facebook. There are some people who bring out a good side of you. It's drawn to them. Ben is like that. Playful and serious in equal measure. Smart, curious, but doesn't take it all too serious. You want to rock and roll with this guy. Easy to forget, until you slip into a conversation that fits easily years after the prom the dress stopped doing so. (Okay, that was stretch). 

The other was with some great customers at work. We talked about faith, because it's tattooed on my arm. It triggered something different in us both but what we ended up talking about was the same with a different name. They were Christian. I am Antonio. I talked about the vibrating balls of the Universe. They asked why I don't call that God. I said, I've never experienced it that way. They day I do, it will be God, but for now, it doesn't need to BE anything. It just is. I believe. I have faith. Faith in the attention received when and intention is set and tended to. Belief that the Universe will unfold itself to me at the right times. He talked of surrender. I thought of you Hannah. Surrender. The ever elusive. But ever present. He talked about why he identifies with God. That one of the things is knowing he will never be enough and that that's okay. Because we're all flawed. So surrender is built into his faith in God. He surrenders to an infinite wisdom. I surrender to the whims of the Universe, knowing deep down, there's nothing whimsical about it. In our craft, surrender is king. He sent me home with new thoughts on what it might mean. 

Maybe the thing I seek - surrender - is closer than I've ever thought. Maybe it's within me already.  

Deep breath. Long exhale. Surrender

It doesn't matter to what, or to who. it matters only that you do it with all your heart, and with a clear intention. 

Not bad for a 420 thought.