I left in February. My plan was to be away 6 months. To see if the grass was greener. To make a change that put my ambition in the front seat and see what might come of a change of scenery and different landscape of opportunity. I was supposed to blog everyday. I almost did.
I'm almost six months away from that start date. I've got all sorts of feels. I've missed birthdays, and haven't been around to see my newest niece age day to day. I've had hard times, and have missed my wife constantly. I've never been this far away from 'my people' and didn't expect it to be as hard as it has been. I have a great family of friends in the 6.
That said, I'm here. The grass - though it's yellow right now both literally and in this metaphor - is greener. I get seen. I like the work I'm doing. For the first 3 months I was feeling very encouraged by the landscape, by the amount of auditions, by the type of work. As of late, things don't feel as good. But I think I was in a flow and now there's an ebb. Things will flow again. That's all, and I really do hope that that's all it is. It takes time to build a castle. Je n'ai que du temps. Which feels less and less true each year.
I've been upfront about how I feel about this place. Vancouver. It's lovely, but it's not my cup of tea. Not entirely at least. Lots of great things about it, but I really do miss 'city'.
This industry is tough. I know that, I've known that. And you have to tough it out. I know that.
I've felt more at home in auditions here than I ever did in Toronto. I feel more and more like there is an upside to being here in terms of my career. Whether that's an undeniable truth, or a skewed perception will unfold over time, but right now, looking down the barrel, it seems clear that being here is right, right now.
I wish I was writing saying I Booked - I know that's the only way most people can measure this. And I get that, even if it's only valuable as a measurement to some. To the rest, I get out, and get back in, often weekly. I book the room. But I haven't booked. I wish I could say that too, just to hear it myself. It's always nice to hear. But it's not where I'm at yet.
However, I wasn't saying that at home either. What I can say is that for the first time I don't feel like I'm in a tunnel looking for a light, but rather, I can see where the light comes from and all the doors are open.
So, it's nearly 6 since I been in the 6. And I miss it.
But I'm here. And it's worth it.
Even if there's a bit of a drought right now.