Antonio Cayonne | Actor

Starting over

Antonio CayonneComment
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My computer has died. I'm wiping it clean. I'm starting from scratch. In a way its a good thing. In a way it feels good. In a way i feel free. In a way I wish I could do that to me. Wipe myself clean. My hard drive I mean. Start from scratch. I wonder how that'd feel. A system reboot. A new lease. Maybe I just did that. Maybe my files were corrupt. Got corrupted. Maybe I'm living in the  matrix.   

Sometimes backwards is enticing. A system restore to a point when things ran smoothly. A time before the new information weighed down your processing speed. But even that step backwards is a move forward. Towards a new idea. A new ideal. A better day.  

It's about doing it. And I haven't been. I'm not. And I know that. I'm not being hard on myself. I just have the luxury of seeing out the front window. I'm idling. Idly sitting by on the shoulder, in a frame that could use a paint job amd some new rims, with an engine thats ready to race. It's about doing. Hey hey hey, do something. 

I watched the second season of Bojack Horseman last night. The closing moment was loud. 

'It gets easier. Everyday, it gets easier. But you have to do it every day. That's the hard part. But it does get easier.' 

On my wall I have a quote I pulled from the Encouragement Jar.  

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'Because the moment you stop doing the very things that got you to the top of the mountain is the very moment you begin to slide down to the valley.'  - Robin Sharma

And then there's Coldplay. 

'Nobody said it was easy.' 

 

Thats a complete thought that I need to hear. 

It gets easier. Everyday, it gets easier. But you have to do it every day. That's the hard part. But it does get easier. Because the moment you stop doing the very things that got younto the top of the mountain is the moment you begin to slide back down to the valley. Nobody said it was easy.'